Who is this person who kills?

I have often wondered about what makes a person a murderer. Are there certain qualities he possesses from birth that predispose him to kill? Is he that different from me? Is it fair to say that we are two different versions of the same species, one normal and one an anomaly?

I tend to look at the act of murder as stemming from two suprisingly opposing possibilities: either a carefully thought-out plan (in legal terms, a premeditated murder) or a sudden explosion of rage and frustration (crime of passion, temporary insanity). As indicated by their relative positions in the judicial system, these two crimes share many qualities, but the key distinguishing point is the activity before (or perhaps "behind") the moment of killing. I want to look at both of these types of murder, to see just who these people are whom we call "killers." Are they a different type of human? And if so, where and when does that distinction occur? At birth? At adolescence? At the moment of the crime? Or are killers sociopaths, insensitive to the feelings (and sometimes, existence) of others? Of course, it's impossible to say with any certainty how (or if) these persons differ from us, but we can still attempt to make a determination about the parameters of murder and murderers by attempting to pinpoint just where that shift to "murderer" takes place.

Since the ability to commit such a crime is ostensibly something we do not all possess, let's start with a very personal examination of the potential for murder in each of us. Perhaps in this way we can determine the line between rational and irrational, law-abiding and law-breaking, innocent and guilty. Who among you has at some point in your life really hated someone, with a white-hot hatred that grew such that the individual was no longer a person, but instead a stumbling block to your life or your happiness: he was in the way of something and refused to budge? How many of you have said to yourselves, however jokingly, "I could kill him"? Have you gone so far as to actually conceive a plan in your head, just a fantasy, that would involve a clever series of events, ending with your being able to kill that person and get away with it? Have you daydreamed about it, laying out in your head how you could survey his house, or his workplace? Have you considered the location of potential hiding places from which you could observe the goings and comings of others and note the times when the person was actually alone? Have you compared your plan to movies you've seen, or episodes of CSI, mentally noting which pitfalls to avoid ("if there is a dog, it must be silenced before proceeding")? In short, have you ever mentally traced a plan, however casually, of how best to access your victim?


Somewhere in this scenario is the first potential stopping point. I admit that I am guilty of all of the above, yet I am not a murderer. But if we stop here, in all honesty, how different are we from the murderer, who does all this and then some, who takes the next step and determines a good time/place/excuse to have the little scenario actually materialize, and then actually puts it into motion? Can we qualify what the difference is between "him" and "us"? Is it moral? Is it a lack of conviction? Is it weakness? Is it love for another human being, perhaps not my intended victim but my children, my friends, my community? Whatever it is, something makes me stop where others continue.

Now it gets tougher. How many of you have researched certain poisons or firearms, to see how they work, and the possibility of obtaining them, just out of curiosity? How many have bought poison or guns, or at least gone to look at them, see what they felt like in your hand, what they looked like, how they smelled? Have you printed out maps of the area where you plan to attack your victim? Have you bought gloves, looked into renting a car vs. going there on foot, planned an escape route? I am happy to say I have never gone this far, but what about those who have, and have not killed anyone? Are they closer to the murderer than I?

And what about those who have moved beyond this point, to package up the tools, maps, guns, binoculars and headed towards the intended victim? Who is the individual who stops short of pulling the trigger, leaving the victim traumatized but still alive, bound and gagged but still breathing? Is that person even closer to being a killer then the daydreamer, or do we lump all these people into the non-killer category with a sigh of relief?

I have often heard killers described as having "crossed a line" and wondered about that line. In the above exercise it is clear that the line is a multitude of lines, and at some point an individual moves forward with something that makes it impossible to go back. Is the line buying the gun? Is it the moment the killer is actually seen by the victim? Is it once a shot is fired, or poison ingested? The point seems to be that a great many people could be viewed as potential murderers, and the question suddenly shifts from "what kind of person could do that?" to "what makes me NOT do that?"

As I indicated before, in some ways the inability to carry out this crime is a kind of unfinishing, where effort and thought are put into a plan that is ultimately not even abandoned so much as left to trickle away on its own. When looked at in this way, the murderer is different from the non-murderer only in that he is the one who is strong enough to complete what he started, a kind of Nietzschean superman, following through what his heart desires and refusing sentiment and fear of punishment.